Jhondie & Justin 9 Blood and Ice
by Cat Carroll
Summary: In the midst of discovery and tragedy, Jhondie and Justin must go to New York and discover the what could be the key to unraveling Manticore forever.
1. Unexpecting

**Jhondie & Justin (9) – Blood and Ice**

_Rated:_ Mostly PG-13, but some R (No explicit sex – at least not planned as of yet – but this is a very grown up story with a lot of adult situations and some harder language than usual)

_Disclaimer:_ (Takes a deep breath) Dark Angel and the concept of Manticore and all that belongs to James Cameron but the rest of the characters and the whole storyline, which really picks up at S1 BBWW and from that point on is totally mine and original so don't use it without permission and since I'm not going for monetary gain don't bother to sue unless you want a '96 Sebring with a torn rag top and something wrong where it won't start.

_Author's Note:_ Yes, friends and neighbors, Cat is back after a long hiatus, and she's brought some old friends with her. The reason for the absence is that I chose to finish school and finally get my degree. And with the time that demanded of me, I had to make a choice between school, my job, my family, and writing. However, through an odd quirk or two, I am currently not working, so I suddenly have time to write once more and decided to celebrate with a new J & J. To answer a few other questions. The last X-6 story will be completed soon. I am working on it; however, this J & J was so clear in my head I had to start getting it down as soon as I could. There will be a total of 11 J & J stories. One of the problems I was having with this one (and why it went on hiatus before I even went back to school) was that there were going to be 12 stories, but I finally figured out that 9 & 10 are essentially the same story. Also, there were scenes that were pivotal to breaking up the two stories, but if I used them, it would force these guys to act in ways that were totally out of character and I couldn't find a way to make them work until inspiration struck. I combined the stories, and kept my characters true to their natures. For new readers, I would suggest reading the first 7 J & J stories, and then switch over to the first X-6 story, then read J & J 8, and then the rest of the X-6 stories. That keeps things in better chronological order. My other two stories are stand alone. Also, if you like the characters and want some fun with them, then check out (click on "Cat") where I've been giving the old MST3K treatment to stories that are painfully deserving of it! Okay, no more babbling. Please enjoy and send me some reviews. We love reviews!

**Justin**

Everything happens for a reason. I've heard that a lot of times. And things work out the way they are supposed to, blah blah blah. It's true. In the end, things worked out. And we were all better for it, I suppose. But oh, God, I wished things could have worked out in a different way. There are some things that can be explained. There are others that have to be experienced before you can really understand what it's like. As a journalist I like to know things, but some stones really are best left unturned.

I knew there was a major problem when Kayla called and asked me, in a whisper, to come over to her house. Kay didn't say anything, but considering this was the first time she had ever called and asked me to do something like that, I figured that the house was either burning down, or the military was there. I didn't even bother to take the time to put my sandwich back in the fridge; just dropped it, grabbed my keys, and ran out the door.

When I got to the house, everything was calm. I cursed lightly. If Kay had dragged me over here for something to do with the wedding, I was going to kill her. She was almost as excited as Jhondie was, especially when Jhondie had Kay help pick out the bridesmaids' dresses. There was a lot going on, but the wedding was still almost two months away and there was nothing that required a panic, drop-what-you're-doing emergency.

When I went in, it was dead quiet. Okay, so that worried me. I thought I heard something upstairs and finally found them in the bathroom. Kayla was sitting on the edge of the tub, staring at Jhondie, worry and fear all over her face. Katrina was leaning against the wall. She wasn't worried so much as bemused. And Jhondie…Jhondie was sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up, forehead resting against them.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Jhondie looked up sharply and shot Kayla a glare. She shrunk back.

"I'm sorry," she said. "But I was worried and you always want him around when something's going on."

I knelt down in front of Jhondie. "What happened?" I asked, thinking of all of the possibilities. Another X-5 got caught by Manticore? Something happen to Max? Or Alicia and the baby?

Jhondie looked like she was about to say something, but then shook her head and looked down again.

"Oh, for crying out loud," Kat snapped. "There is so no need for the drama. This is not some big tragedy."

Jhondie glared at her. Kat didn't give an inch. Like that had ever happened before anyway. "Not a big deal?" Jhondie growled.

Kat's hands were on her hips. "Yeah, not a big deal considering your situation. Trust me, I've seen a lot of people go through this, and with their situation compared to yours, you're on easy street." She straightened up. "Jhon, I hate stupid women. And since I still have every intention of hitting it with you one day, all I can say is quit being stupid." She grabbed Kay's hand and hauled her up. "We're going downstairs. You two talk. And no freaking out."

She flounced out of there leaving me alone with Jhondie. And very, very confused. "Baby, talk to me," I finally said.

She looked up, fear in her eyes. And then she said the last two words that I ever expected to hear come out of her mouth.

"I'm pregnant."

**Jhondie**

Father Carlos had insisted on premarital counseling before Justin and I could get married at St. Andrews. He said it was really important for a couple to talk about certain topics so that they didn't become major issues after marriage. One of the important topics was family. Did we both want to have one? How many children did we want to have? How long did we want to be married before starting a family?

Justin and I were pretty much in agreement. We did want a family one day. Neither of us wanted a huge family, but a couple of children sounded nice. Justin was very adamant on one point though. He was not ready to be a parent and did not want to have any children soon.

"With my job and you going to medical school, I just don't think it's a good idea at all," he explained. I agreed with him, though I wasn't as firm on the topic. If we had a child in the next few years, I wouldn't see it as a tragedy, but Justin really, really wanted to wait before even thinking about it. Personally, my biggest concern was that I wanted to wait until I was sure that Manticore was dying and a child would be safer. But even with that, I wasn't as set-in-stone as Justin was on the topic.

But now everything was different. I could even pinpoint the day that everything changed. We were in Mexico visiting Justin's family and went out to the beach one night for a swim. It was a perfectly clear night and we were all alone, still celebrating my recent graduation from college. Making love in the ocean was tricky, but we figured it out quite nicely. It was the only time in the last two months that we hadn't used any protection.

I felt so stupid. I knew that sex under water did not prevent pregnancy. I was going to be a doctor, I knew that the myths about how to prevent were just that – myths. For the last week or so I had been getting sick at night and was tired all the time. And the "heat" cycle that was due hadn't happened yet. I knew the signs. Seeing a positive on the test almost seemed anti-climatic.

I had gone back over to Mom's house with the EPT so that I could talk to her. She was working later, but Kay and Kat were there. Kat saw the test, couldn't keep her big mouth shut, and now I was on the floor with Justin frozen in shock in front of me. His jaw moved a few times like he was trying to speak but nothing was coming out.

"Are you sure?" he finally said. Better than 'is it mine?' I supposed. I nodded and handed him the test. The positive sign was pretty obvious. He sat back heavily, staring at the stick.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I swear I didn't do this on purpose."

"I know that," he muttered. "I'm just…you know…just…wow." He looked up at me. "You're pregnant?"

"Yeah," I said sharply. "We've already gone over that." I didn't mean to snap at him but he was acting like he was trying to wake up from a nightmare. Was the thought of having a child with me that horrifying?

Justin sighed. "I guess we're going to have to get married now."

"What?"

He gave me a tiny smile and I realized he was teasing me. "It's okay," he finally said. "I mean, yeah, way sooner than we wanted, but it'll be okay. This is from one night of unprotected sex not like a one night stand or something. It's just…timing. The timing is weird, is all."

I almost started crying in sheer relief. Justin moved so that he was sitting beside me, his arm around my shoulders. "It'll be okay," he repeated, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself than me. "Kat was kind of right. We could be in a much worse situation."

I wanted to tell him I was scared too. That it would be okay if he said it. Our lives were going to be dramatically different and that scared the hell out of me too. But neither of us said anything. We just held each other and pretended to be brave.


	2. Dealing

**Justin**

My phone beeped, making me jump. There was a text message from Nikki. She was working on an Eyes Only story and needed me ASAP. Yeah, not going to happen. I would have to be able to move and think before dealing with work.

Jhondie and I weren't talking. Just thinking about what was going on and how we were going to deal with it. Not very well at the moment, to be honest. I wanted her to know that I was okay, but I wouldn't say it. It was too close to being a lie.

The phone beeped again. "Go ahead and answer her," Jhondie said. "You're not going to get any peace until you do."

I had no intention of leaving her alone, but Ashley charged into the bathroom. Guess she had talked to Kayla and Katrina downstairs. She picked up the test stick and stared at it for a minute. "Good thing you didn't go with a form-fitting wedding dress."

Jhondie smiled a little. I smiled a little. My phone beeped again. Jhondie looked over at me. "It's just going to get worse." She squeezed my hand. "I'm okay, promise." I think what she meant was that she wanted to talk to her mother in private. I couldn't help but hold out a little hope that her mom would tell her that the sticks would also show up positive if you ate some weird food combination or something.

I went downstairs and called Nikki back. She immediately started talking, and I knew the story she was referring to, but I couldn't follow what she was saying. She finally stopped. "Justin, what's the two most important points I've given?" I could hear the irritation. To her nothing was more important than the story. But not to me. Couldn't be to me anymore. I was going to have to make sure everything was back burner because there was going to be other stuff.

"Jhondie's pregnant," I answered.

I heard a gasp on the other end. "Oh my God, no wonder you weren't paying attention! Okay, free pass this time. Congratulations! When is she due?"

A headache was already forming under my right temple. "Nikki…I really can't talk right now, okay?"

"Are you okay about this?" she asked, much more subdued. Too many people saying 'okay'. It wasn't okay. None of us were okay. And nobody was going to admit to that either.

"I will be."

"Justin…"

"I got to go," I said, breaking in before she could give any constructive advice.

"Fine," she said petulantly. "Can you at least bring me the disks on the Dunning story today?"

"Sure. Bye," I said, hanging up. I had planned on bringing them to her earlier. The disks were already in one of the special compartments in my car.

I went to go back upstairs as Jhondie was coming down. "Nikki needs the disks?" she asked.

"She can wait."

Jhondie shook her head. "Go ahead and get them to her. I…I really need to let this soak in a little before I can talk about it, you know?"

I was ashamed at the rush of relief I felt. I really didn't want to talk right now. My head was still in a whirl. Instead I pulled her close and held her for a long minute.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Love you too," I said, giving her a kiss. "I won't be long."

She smiled a little. "See you at home."

Maybe I shouldn't have left. No, I know I shouldn't have left. It was selfish. I should have stayed and maybe we could have worked things out a little more. Maybe things would have turned out differently. But I left. I needed to think on my own for a little while. Try to figure out what this was going to be like.

I dropped off the disks and ignored Nikki's questions. I know she was mad, but I couldn't stop thinking about what was going to happen. Midnight feedings. PTA meetings. Little league and soccer. Birthday parties and ice cream in the ceiling fan. We'd need a bigger place. Shots and lost teeth. Santa and the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy, oh my.

I wound up in front of my dad's house. The twins were still at soccer practice. Dad wasn't doing the carpool this week. Carpools. First day of school. Bus schedules and home room and parent night and lectures on good grades. Oh God, what if we had to teach this kid not to jump off the top of the monkey bars in front of other people?

I went inside the house, still in a daze. This was not happening. Could not be happening. Maybe the test was bad or something. But Jhondie had been experiencing other symptoms and she said she believed it. I had to accept it. Christ, now what?

It's not that I didn't ever want a family. But I wasn't ready. Our lives just weren't set up to have a kid. What if I needed to take off for a couple of days to Seattle to work with the boss on something? Logan was a pretty tolerant guy, but I doubt he would like to do a hack with a baby crying in the background. And Jhondie was about to start the four most intense years of education that anyone could do. How was she supposed to do dissections of a cadaver while she was eight months along?

It didn't matter, I guessed. The deed was done and it wasn't like we could do anything about it. Considering what the child's mother was, there was no way we could risk adoption. And the alternative was reprehensible to both me and Jhondie. No, we were going to have and raise this kid, preparedness be damned.

I was scared. I admit that. I didn't know about babies and kids. What do you do with them? What if there was a problem? What if there wasn't? I didn't know the first thing about diapers or bottles. Yeah, I had fed and played with the twins when they were babies, but I never had any real responsibility for them when they were that young. It was more like since I couldn't have a puppy, I got a baby brother and sister to play with.

Dad was in the kitchen making dinner. I walked in and sat down on the stool at the island. Dad paused and looked at me curiously. I didn't normally just show up out the blue. "Something wrong, son?"

I sat there for a minute thinking. I wanted to tell him that everything was suddenly horribly wrong, but I thought about him. And my mother. And what they were like. And something seemed to…loosen is the only word I can think of. It was like an old rusty bolt that finally gave and turned letting relief spill out. I did so know how to be a father. I had been taught by example how to be a good father from the time I was born. Even now that I was on my own, I still was being shown how to be a dad that loved his kids and was a part of their lives. I had been shown by example how to love my child's mother and to work with her to raise a family.

Jhondie was going to have my child. Our child. Our family. I wanted her to be with me forever. She had already promised she would. This baby was unexpected, but it was still ours. And if I didn't know how to do something, then hell, I had a great person that I could ask questions and get answers from.

"Son?" Dad was still waiting for me to say something.

A smile broke out over my face. I couldn't help it thinking about the baby. We were going to be okay. We'd learn as we went along and it would be okay. Jhondie was worried that the first nine years of her life would make her a bad mother, but she had also learned by example from her mother and father how to be a good parent. Besides, if Alicia wasn't worried about Manticore tainting her parenting skills, then Jhondie had no worries.

"Dad," I said, smiling wider, "I'm going to be a dad."

**Jhondie**

The moment Justin left, I almost called him to come back and stay with me. It was selfish, but I wanted him there until he wasn't scared anymore and we could do this together.

Kayla crept back into the living room. "See," she said in a small voice. "He said he'd be alright."

"I know," I replied. "It was the first time he's ever lied to me."

I ran back upstairs, not wanting to cry in front of anyone. God help me, if Katrina made one suggestive comment about how she could take my mind off of things, chances were she was toast. I just needed to be alone and try to figure out what I should do. My old bedroom had been turned into an office, but the window was still unblocked. I crawled out and sat on the gable, looking at the options.

How could I make Justin raise a child he didn't want? But there was no way I could get rid of it. I was perfectly healthy and had completely consented to the act that made this baby. To some women, it wouldn't matter, but to me, under these circumstances abortion was flat out murder. Giving it away meant it would have to go to an X-5 because we were the only ones that could handle it if it took on some of my traits. But there was no way I was going to foster my problem onto someone else.

And besides, I wanted it. Don't ask when that started. I just knew. I sat there and as crazy as it sounds, I wanted this baby.

The window opened and Mom made her way out with me. It took her a minute to maneuver in her heels and skirt into a sitting position. Mom sighed. "There's something I'm going to tell you that I never want to hear repeated," she said. "I never thought I would tell you or Kayla, but you need to hear it now."

Have to admit, I was a lot intrigued, especially when Mom shut the window. Normally when she had something to say, she would just say it. Secrets weren't her style. She shifted position and took a deep breath.

"You know I met your father when I was a sophomore in college. He was getting ready to graduate and go to medical school," she said.

"I know," I replied. "You met at a party at your sorority. You met, dated, your parents disapproved because he wasn't rich, but you married him anyway while he was in medical school because you didn't need him to be a rich doctor to love him."

She nodded. "All true. Except for one minor detail." I looked at her questioningly. She smiled and continued, "I wanted to marry Jack because I loved him. But we got married when we did because I was pregnant with Katherine."

My eyebrows shot up. Okay, that was a part of the story I had never heard before. Good detail to know. Kind of relevant to boot. Mom gave me the half-smile of bittersweet memory. "Want to know what the man I loved said when I told him that I was carrying his child?" She paused. I couldn't move. "His exact words," she continued, "were 'oh, fuck, please tell me you're joking'."

My jaw dropped. That's not what Dad said. There was no way that the man who loved me and Kayla so much would have said that about finding out he was going to be a father. He loved us. Loved being a dad. He told me more than once that the feeling of accomplishment and success he had as a doctor was insignificant compared to the joy he had experienced as a father.

Mom seemed pleased at my reaction. I guess she wanted to surprise me, and she had pulled one out pretty hard. "But, but you married him!" I sputtered out. She nodded. "Why…how? Did he just get all guilty later?"

"I think if it had been guilt then we would have managed maybe two years married," Mom said. "I know for a fact that our marriage wouldn't have survived losing Katherine."

She took my hand. "I went back to my dorm after he said that and cried for two days straight. And then I realized something. I had suspected this for about a week. In my heart, I knew I was pregnant. So when the test was positive, I was upset and scared, but not shocked. Jack had just had a bomb dropped in his lap with absolutely zero warning and I was mad at him for being shocked about it."

"So you gave him some time and you two decided to get married?"

She snorted. "Hell no. I was the one carrying his child and he didn't call for two days. There was going to be some serious begging for forgiveness." I laughed. Okay, now that was my mother.

"So what happened?" I asked. "I kind of know the end of the story with you two getting married and being happy together."

"I wouldn't talk to him," she said. "He called and I refused to answer and my roommate was trying to do messages and his roommate was trying to talk to me and it devolved from there." She smiled. "But Jack knew me. And he knew there was one thing that I hadn't done and I was terrified to do. I had to tell my parents."

"He went with you?"

She shook her head. "He went without me. I was home from school and I knew I had to tell them, but I was scared of what they would say and that they were going to try and force me to give up the baby. And then the doorbell rang and there was your father. He marched in there and announced that I was pregnant with his child. He didn't give a damn about their opinion of him, but he was going to marry me and we were going to raise our child together and if they didn't like it, then too damn bad."

"My mother started wailing, saying I had ruined my life and how could I do this to the family. My father started yelling at me, telling me he wasn't going to allow this to happen. I was crying, not knowing what to say because this was exactly how I knew they were going to respond when they found out. And then Jack was right beside me with his arm around my shoulder."

"'That's enough!'" he yelled at them both. And for once, both my parents shut up at the same time. 'I don't care who you are,' Jack said, 'but you will not speak to my wife like that, ever again.'"

"Go Dad," I muttered.

Mom smiled. "That was the first time in my life that someone had stood up to my parents to defend me. Everyone else would nod and agree and try to do whatever it took to make me fit the mold of how my parents thought I should turn out. Jack and I left the house and we talked for a long time. He apologized a million times and said that he was just scared. It wasn't going to be easy, but he wanted me and our child. We had talked before about getting married, but it had been pretty general and not until I had graduated college. But we decided to go ahead and get married a few weeks later. And the rest you know."

I thought about that for a long minute. I hadn't known for sure that I was pregnant, but yeah, I suspected. And it's not like this was trapping Justin into a marriage he didn't want. I mean, the wedding invitations were already at the printers. This wasn't going to be a financial hardship. It was just…timing.

If I was scared, then I knew Justin had to be, despite what he said. This was big. Huge. And I wasn't sure if I could deal with it. So that's what it had to be like for him. But I had something he didn't. I knew that there was this small life inside of me. It was growing and I was holding and protecting it. It was part of me and part of Justin and already I loved it for just being that. Justin didn't have that. He couldn't feel it, couldn't love it for just being there. It would take time for the shock to fade and then maybe, maybe he could love our child then.

And if not, I would sic my big brother on him.


	3. Accepting

**Justin**

I was glad that Jhondie wasn't home when I got back. I didn't know how to tell her how I was feeling about our baby. And I didn't know if she would believe me anyway. But I knew something I could do to show her that I was feeling better about the situation and I wanted to make it work. Yeah, I was still scared, but after talking to my dad, I found that that's something pretty much all men feel when they find out they are going to be a father.

Dad had been surprised at the news, but he was pretty excited to hear that his first grandchild was on its way. He told me that he had been terrified when I was born because I was the first baby that he had ever held in his life. I realized that it was okay to be nervous. I was going to make mistakes. The funny thing was that Dad told me some of the mistakes he felt he had made, and I didn't understand because I never saw those things as mistakes. And then I realized that was how my son or daughter would see me. It wasn't going to be easy, but we would manage. I wasn't sure how good of a father I was going to be, but I knew Jhondie was going to be an incredible mother. I just wanted to do something to let her know how I felt.

A few weeks before, Jhondie and I had been shopping at a baby store. Little ironic now. One of Jhondie's friends from college was pregnant and Jhondie was looking for a gift to give her at the baby shower. At this one place they had a beautiful antique crib on display. It was hand carved out of solid mahogany, with incredibly ornate carvings of fairytales in the head and footboards. There was a silk canopy over it that could be removed with this gauzy material that flowed down to the floor. Jhondie had thought it was exquisite. I made a few jokes about what Cody would do to the material. We both had gotten a good laugh and then we went off to pick out Shelly's gift.

I called the store and found out that they still had the crib. It could be delivered the day after tomorrow. I couldn't wait to see Jhondie's reaction when she saw that I had remembered that crib. Yeah, it was extravagant, but a man only had a firstborn once, right? But I was going to have to think about some practical considerations as well.

My apartment was technically large enough for a baby, but I had to admit that I didn't want to have to give up my office for a nursery. Not a problem. The lease was up in September. We would just not renew it and get a bigger place. I started looking online at apartments and then stopped myself. Why bother with a three bedroom apartment? A kid needed a yard to play in. And hell, if we wanted another one – several years down the road for sure this time – then we might as well have a place that gave us some room to grow.

I started looking at homes around the Los Angeles area and its suburbs. I wanted someplace that would be comfortable even if we added another child to the mix later. A yard, good schools, maybe a pool in the back. The sad thing was that even with my finances, which had grown considerably over the last two years despite my accountant's warnings on spending; I still had to be careful over property costs. One place I thought that was very nice carried a $22.4 million dollar price tag. But I didn't want a palace. I wanted my kids growing up respecting money, and not thinking they were better than someone that didn't have as much.

I honestly lost track of time going through different properties. Some were way too expensive, and others weren't big enough or in the right area. But there was a good pile of possibilities that Jhondie and I could look at later. I grinned at a couple of them. They were owned by people that had been targeted in recent Eyes Only hacks who were now selling to either pay legal fees or to get some running away cash. Plus, they were at fire-sale prices when you considered the surrounding property values. There was a poetic irony at the thought of buying one of those houses.

It was starting to get late, and I had an early meeting with Nikki in the morning, and several more lined up for the day. I called Jhondie to see where and how she was. She was still over at her mother's and promised to be home soon. I have to admit, that I felt a little relieved. She sounded a lot better than she had earlier. And I needed her to come home so we could talk. It was time for a good talk and then she would know that I really was starting to move from shock to happiness over having a baby.

**Jhondie**

I deliberately stayed out pretty late. I knew Justin had to be up really early so he would be in bed by the time I got home. I wasn't sure what I was going to say to him. And I was scared about what he would say to me. I didn't want to start hearing any blame about getting pregnant. It was just going to get worse when I reminded him that I was pretty scientifically advanced, but I didn't reproduce asexually.

When I got home he was already in bed. I thought about getting something to eat, but the thought alone made me sick. I had been sicker at night than in the morning. Anything I ate was just going to make its reappearance pretty soon. And I was tired. Justin hadn't noticed, but I had been sleeping every night for the past couple of weeks. Granted, it was just a couple of hours, but when you're used to going days with zero sleep, it feels weird to get tired every single day.

Earlier, I had called Max to let her know and then called Alicia and asked her if anything I was experiencing was out of the ordinary. Actually, I was more concerned about any weirdness that might occur because I was X-5 and Justin wasn't. If anyone would know what the possibilities were, she might.

"Don't worry about being sick at night," Alicia said. "It's different for every person, and every pregnancy. For two and a half months, I started throwing up around 0745 and it would stop about 0900 hours. For the rest of the day I could eat or do whatever with no problems."

"Good to know," I said, hoping that I could be that regular. Mom had said with Kayla she had been sick constantly for the first trimester, but then again, she had been in the hospital a lot with Katherine during that time. "What about…I mean, do you know if they ever looked at…problems?"

"Potential biological incompatibilities?"

Nice to have it put so clinically. "Pretty much, yeah."

"There was some lab testing done to see if efficiency could be improved," she replied. "It didn't go so well."

I felt like someone had punched me. "What were the results?"

"Nothing bad like that," she said quickly, a thread of concern in her voice. "Just the offspring weren't right for our…Manticore's purposes."

Her voice lowered and I had a feeling Max or Zack was around. They didn't like hearing the "M" word. Alicia didn't discuss it at all with Max, and from what I knew, only talked about it to Zack when he asked her something. They had their opinions on the subject and neither liked the other's conclusions. "The testing was done on mice with computer modeling," Alicia continued. "The offspring sometimes picked up some of the X-5 and 6 traits, but it wasn't consistent or often enough to take to clinical trials."

"He might have your speed and strength, but not visual acuities," she added. "Or he may not have to sleep, but is normal in every other way. It's possible that he would be completely normal and nobody would ever know there was something different. That did happen during the testing, however, in the second generation, some of the normal offspring would have a child that picked up its grandparent's traits."

"But no real problems?"

She knew what I meant. "Occasionally there were…anomalous DNA sequencings. But they were miscarried almost immediately."

"So…"

"The embryo would have been rejected before it had the chance to implant," she said quietly. "You would never have known."

I sagged with relief. "I really wanted to hear that."

She laughed. "You didn't have much to worry about anyway. The anomalous sequences really only occurred when test DNA was used, never with structurally verified DNA like ours."

We talked for a few more minutes, and I have to admit I felt better for calling her. Despite the creepiness of her being fine with the life she lived at Manticore, I liked Alicia. Part of it was the way she could put Zack in his place, but part of it was because she wasn't afraid to tell someone what they needed to know, no matter how unpleasant it was.

But now it was late and I was tired but I didn't want to sleep. I guess I was still trying to be in charge of my body, but it was already doing its own thing and I didn't have say over what was going to happen for the next thirty-six weeks. I knew enough about anatomy to know specifically what was happening and the stages of development. Right now I had a small ball of cells inside of me that was multiplying like crazy. In another three weeks, a heart would be beating. Soon after that, there would be brain functions and growth and finally…birth.

I had to sit down before I had a panic attack. This was too much. I didn't care how natural it was or how much the odds were in my favor of having a normal, healthy baby. It was just too much to take in. And why did Justin have printouts of houses on the desk?

I flipped on a light and looked at them. They were all properties that were up for sale. My heart sank. Justin loved this apartment. There had been another one that I liked more, but this is the one he had to have. He loved the view from the balcony and the way the living room was sunken in a step. He liked not having to worry about maintenance if the fridge broke. I could just imagine him sitting here, thinking about how he was going to have to be responsible for a house now because there was a kid on the way.

I wanted to cry, but I was too tired and had cried too much already today. Instead I went to bed, trying to be quiet so Justin wouldn't wake up. I crawled into bed silently, but he immediately reached out, his arm curling around me so that my back was tucked in against his chest. There's no way to express how much that simple contact meant to me. I was scared and lonely and desperately needing to be close to him.

"This whole fatherhood thing is freaking terrifying," Justin whispered in the dark. "Please be patient with all of the mistakes I already know I'm going to make. I promise I'm going to try real hard to be the best father that I can be."

I rolled over so that we were facing each other. "Who says you get to make all of the mistakes?" I whispered.

He grinned. "I get to use up the mistakes because you're going to be such an awesome mother, you won't be making any." His hand cupped my face, thumb caressing along my cheek. "I really hope he or she has your eyes."

I think I tried to say something, but I couldn't. I just grabbed him and we held each other tightly. Finally, I managed to say, "Are you really okay with this?"

Justin looked at me thoughtfully. "I'm not ready to use the word 'okay'," he replied. "More like 'getting over the panic stage'. Okay is going to take a little more time."

I smiled. It was a start. I needed to know he was willing to try at least. Everything else would come later. "I hope he or she has your hair," I said softly.

"Let's not curse the poor child."

I giggled and thought of a green-eyed, black-haired baby. How beautiful. I snuggled up close to Justin, luxuriating in his warmth and love and acceptance, and drifted easily to sleep.


	4. Normalcy

**Justin**

The next day was so weird. I mean, this really big, huge thing was happening to us, but life was still going on. I had meetings all day, and Jhondie was going to take my car over to Kat and Scott's place to get some work done on it. There was nothing unusual going on except that Jhondie had warned me not to make eggs for breakfast. After the night before, I was willing to make any dietary sacrifices needed.

We had slept together for a couple of hours, and then she had woken up, crawled out of bed, and hit the bathroom, throwing up until there was nothing but dry heaves left. I felt bad for her, worse because this had been going on for a week now, and I hadn't noticed it. She said later that she wasn't trying to hide it anymore.

All I could do was hold her hair back and get her a cool washcloth to put on her forehead between rounds of vomiting. She told me certain smells would make her nauseous during the day, but it was at night that the real throwing up would get going. It was like it would all build up during the day and unload at night. Eggs were at the top of the bad-smell list. So was roast pork for that matter. And even the word "mayonnaise" made her turn green and start heaving again.

She told me to go back to bed several times, but I wanted her to know that I was going to be there for her. I didn't know how to say it without sounding dumb or melodramatic, so I just stayed with her and made sure the washcloth was cool, and got her some ice chips once. Eventually she started to feel better and we went back to bed. I was going to have to do some research on if there was some smell or food or supplement that would ease the pregnancy sickness thing. I was wiped, and I wasn't even the one getting sick. Dad had warned me this would be pretty constant for the first three months, but there had to be something that could be done.

But I knew one thing I could do, and that was have some toast for breakfast rather than the omelet I had planned on making. Jhondie was already up, ate my buttered toast and reminded me to take her car so that she could take mine to Kat's garage. It was weird because it was so normal. I made some more toast and slapped some pineapple preserves (yes, I said pineapple preserves on toast, get over it) before Jhondie could eat it, and we talked about having live musicians versus a d.j. at the wedding. Normal…yet still very weird.

Finally I had to leave and get to my meeting with Nikki. We met over at her apartment to go over some Eyes Only work. After that I was meeting with the head of the Perimeter Police Division and then Councilman Terry Mott. Nikki and I were trying to show the underground market for childhood disease vaccinations and how children were getting sick from bad injections. Why weren't the kids getting good vaccines and who should be monitoring it? With the police and councilman, I was writing a story to show how Los Angeles had perimeter police, and it was starting to thrive again, unlike other places that had full sector police and stayed locked down. Places like, oh, Seattle maybe?

Tonight I had a lot of writing to do. I wanted the piece on the sectors done by the end of the week. The expensive areas in the city had private security forces that created sectors within LA, but it wasn't anything like the high-security cities. In Chicago, you practically had to have a full cavity search any time you crossed a street. A guy I know that works for a national magazine had liked the idea and said that if I got it past the censors here, maybe I could do a more in-depth piece and show a cross-country comparison. I really liked that idea, but it would mean traveling, and now I wasn't sure if that was such a good idea with Jhondie being pregnant.

Jhondie was pregnant. Like, having a baby pregnant. We were going to be parents. Wow. I guess it still hadn't sunk in all the way by the time I got to Nikki's place. She gave me an arch look as I came in.

"So is it still too soon for congratulations?" she asked.

I gave her a half-smile. "I had a great bonding experience last night with Jhondie while she was throwing up." Nikki turned green. She can handle almost anything but someone vomiting. Even the noise is enough to make her get sick.

"We're dealing," I said. "It was really unexpected, so I'm not done freaking out yet."

She shrugged. "Most of the guys I know would be denying it's theirs and taking off." There was some serious bitterness in that undertone. "At least Jhondie got you to commit to a relationship before she got pregnant."

Okay, we were no longer discussing my impending offspring. Crap. I had suspected for a few weeks that she was having problems in her relationship with Dink. It's not a shock since he's a creepy little man and she's a hot redhead. If I was Dink, I would be thanking God every night that she let me near her, much less sleep with me.

I didn't want to ask. I had enough issues of my own. But I found myself saying, "Something wrong?"

She sighed. "Of course not. Nothing's changed at all. So how can it be wrong?"

I sat down on the couch, not wanting this discussion to go further because that meant I had to think about their relationship. If this was something I was going to publish, then I'd be all over it with sympathetic words and coaxing out more information. But this was Dink's sex life and I did not want to know details.

Nikki whirled around to face me. "You're a guy, you explain it," she demanded. Christ. Go to my happy place. Go to my happy place.

"How can a man tell you that he loves you, tell you that he wants to be with you, and then not care when you say that you want to be more important than his damn computer. I'm tired of feeling like I'm the mistress and the computer is the wife! I'm sorry, but I do not believe it's possible to lose your virginity with cyber-sex."

I may have just been struck impotent with that one sentence. I guess Nikki noticed my look and waved her hand, plopping heavily onto the couch. "I shouldn't be dumping all this on you," she said. "But you're the only guy that I can trust to say I'm having a problem with my boyfriend and not use that to try and make a move on me."

I had to say something. We were never going to get anything done today if I didn't say something reassuring. "I've known Dink for a while," I said. "And I'm not making any excuses for his behavior. But the man never left his cave until he met you. He couldn't even waste the time to get his hair cut. Since you two got together, he's made some big strides. He's actually interesting in normal interpersonal relationships and not just electronic ones. I never thought I would live to see the day when he would spend the night away from his computer because he would rather be with a girl."

She looked a little mollified. I wasn't about to tell her that the first time I saw him away from the computer was because of Jhondie. Nikki and Jhondie had a friendly relationship, but they weren't friends. I could just imagine Nikki's reaction if she found out that Dink's first real crush since childhood had been Jhondie.

"My boyfriend's an ass, your girlfriend is knocked up," she said with a sigh. "What a pair." I thought about correcting her and pointing out that Jhondie's title was actually fiancée, but I kept my mouth shut. Nikki was settling down and I didn't want her going off on a "why won't he commit" rant. Nikki was an awesome partner, but she could be such a girl sometimes.

"So, um, how's it going looking for the vaccine shipments?" I asked.

She pulled out a map of the city. "Well, I think I've found three potentials that need to be staked out." Ah, the sweet bliss of working and ignoring personal problems.

I was with Nikki for as long as I could and then I had to run over to the Perimeter Police's headquarters. Chief Vickers was happy to see me since the article was promised to put a positive spin on how Los Angeles was handling martial law. If a wealthy community wanted to create a sector, they had to pay for the security. But those guys had to be actual cops and answered to Vickers. It helped to keep the system clean. Actually, it wasn't like that five years ago, but after several Eyes Only hacks about graft and corruption, things started to get cleaned up.

Vickers and I talked for over an hour about the changes he had made to the Perimeter Police. He seemed like a pretty decent cop, but I was going to have the Informant Net investigate him before I showed him as an example of how a Chief should be. After that meeting, I ran over to Councilman Mott's office and had to wait forty-five minutes for our meeting, even though I got there at the scheduled time. Politicians liked to make people wait so that they felt better about themselves. However, not the wisest thing to do when the person waiting could give you a national reputation for good or bad. Of course, he didn't know about the national magazine being interested in the article.

I finally got in, and the talk was less than satisfying. He didn't seem to understand the need for change, and thought it would be better with more security. We had to be careful against another terrorist attack. I asked him about Constitutional rights, and he said that the good of all demanded sacrifices sometimes. I wanted to point out that hundreds of thousands had already died as a sacrifice to preserve those rights, but Mott's eyes and ears were glued shut.

I ended up back at the apartment to get my notes organized and start outlining the piece. I had a meeting with an economist in a couple of days to get the final facts and figures on the growth of the city's economy since the changes, and had to talk to a censor on what would be allowed concerning corruption in the past. Logan wanted to get together with me tomorrow on a story he was working on. He thought one of the main players was in California and wanted some help tracking them down.

Jhondie wasn't home when I got there, but she had planned on getting together with her mother and looking at the floral arrangement photos that the florist had sent for the table centerpieces at the wedding. Oh, darn, I was missing that. My jobs for the wedding were to help pick out a caterer and music, and look good in the tux. I was not going to add anything else to that list because that would mean looking at flowers and color swatches and fabrics and crap like that.

I tried to call Jhondie, but it went to her voice mail. That bothered me a little. She always had her phone on her. Maybe it was in the living room and they were in the dining room. It had happened before. I should have gotten on it and started tracking her down then, but I didn't know. Never so much as suspected what was to come. Instead I settled in at my desk and started getting everything together for the article and looking at where I still needed to add some details.

When the phone rang, I wasn't expecting to hear Scott. "Hey Justin, is Jhondie around?" he asked hesitantly. The guy was a genius with cars, but not so much with other people.

"No, she's not home yet," I replied. The worry I had felt earlier jumped back up, intensifying exponentially, and I couldn't say why. "What's up?"

"Normally I don't stress, because it's Kat and she has to get out, you know. But she doesn't hit it with Jhondie so I'm just checking and stuff."

My heart was slamming in my chest. "Scott, in English, what the hell are you trying to say?"

"Kat took Jhondie for a test drive on the car hours ago," he said. "They haven't come back."


End file.
